The Mighty Allen Murdock

I have a friend who…

When they hear about my condition, people will sometimes say things like, “Oh, my brother-in-law had cancer.  He was 42, and he died in two months.” These stories are lots of fun, of course, but guess what? I’m already aware that cancer kills people, and I don’t need reminders. I know these people are only trying to relate my story to their own lives, but really.

Even more annoying are the stories about people who had cancer, were told they were going to die in three weeks, and managed to cure themselves.  My problem, this implies, is that I just haven’t done all the necessary research, haven’t moved to a cabin in the woods near Banff, haven’t switched to a vegetarian diet, (or vegan, or macrobiotic), and haven’t eliminated all stress in my life. Silly me.

The stress thing is particularly funny.  Evidently, stress can cause chemical changes in your body, and those changes create an environment in which cancer cells thrive.  So when you have cancer, you’re supposed to get rid of anything in your life that causes stress.

As I told the surgeon who first gave me my diagnosis, then mentioned the stress thing to me, “If you wanted me not to be stressed out, you shouldn’t have told me I have cancer just now.”

I heard one story about a woman who had some sort of terrible blood disease, which she was able to beat because she actually did move to a small cabin in the mid-Canadian woods, where she raised all her own organic food, breathed clean air, and had no stress. After she had cured herself thusly, she came back to the city. Then the disease came back, and she moved back to the woods. And she has repeated this process several times over a couple of decades.

To be frank, even if I were certain that moving to the Canadian wilderness would cure me, I can’t imagine myself doing it.  I’m sure it’s lovely up there. I’ve always wanted to see Banff. But as shocking as this may seem, I’m not willing to move away from everything and everyone I love. I believe I’d find the isolation and loneliness rather stressful.

So how about Alternative Medicine? Aren’t there cancer cures all over the Internet? Sure there are. Most of them are said to cure the disease completely, without producing any kind of side effects, and at very low cost. The Medical and Pharmaceutical Industries are suppressing these cures, we’re told, because they aren’t patentable and won’t allow them to continue to rake in the Big Bucks.

A very old and dear friend of mine believed this. After being diagnosed with cervical cancer, she spent a couple of years exploring every lead for every alternative cure she could turn up, from something called “black tar” to spiritual healers. By the time she gave up on those approaches, her diseased had progressed to the point where all western medicine could do for her was to alleviate her pain. She died rather horribly.

I don’t buy the whole cancer cure suppression thing, for a simple reason. If thousands of people in the “cancer industry” were keeping simple cures out of the hands of the public just so they could continue to accumulate major piles of clams, they’d also be knowingly denying those cures to their wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, children, and themselves. Do you think oncologists never get cancer? Think again.

The people I know who’ve done the best with battling this disease are those who’ve stuck with the much maligned science of Western Medicine. Let’s not forget that these are the people who virtually eradicated smallpox and polio, which used to kill and cripple millions of people every year. What diseases have herbalists wiped off the face of the earth?

Are cancer treatments horrific? Yeah, they are. But they’ve kept me alive for far longer than I believe I would have lived without them, and I’m still here. Steve Jobs, who could have been treated with a relatively minor surgery, instead spent more than a year trying to cure himself by changing his diet. By the time he came back to his surgeon, he needed a liver transplant. As we all know, he is no longer with us.

One thing you want to remember when you get cancer is that time is not on your side. Don’t dally or delay. Get on it.

Some people make the decision to just forego all treatment, so that they can live out the rest of their lives without having to experience the fatigue, nausea, and other side effects of chemo and radiation. I understand and respect that decision. But I choose to fight, even if the fighting takes its own toll. Because I have a secret, which makes me think I may still be able to beat this thing. Here’s the secret: I’m Superman.

OK, maybe I’m not. But I am the Mighty Allen Murdock, which is the next best thing.